Maddox Doesn’t Scare Me

Maddox doesn’t scare me, but his fans do.

I’ve been following Maddox for, I suppose, the last year and a half, ever since one of my friends sent me the “I am better than your kids” link. It was hilarious, and made me laugh my ass off (well, not quite, but it’s still damned funny). I’ve always appreciated it when people challenge taboo subjects, like making fun of kids or Christopher Reeve.

For the first time, though, I actually found something frightening on Maddox’s site. Specifically, this page.

I can understand that it’s great to see exceptionally wielded sarcasm, and that Maddox tackles a lot of topics that most people are too proper to breach. However, some of this shit scares me. Maddox apparently has a whole army of would-be lovers, mostly males, from the names under those pictures.

Lovers, you ask? Seriously – why else would you spend time in photoshop drawing up original artwork and sending it in to Maddox, mostly featuring Maddox as your hero butchering helpless weaklings? Do you really think that this is going to help you score with Maddox? Does it provide you with something to get off to? I don’t understand it.

In addition, the quality of the artwork sucks. It reminds me of stuff I used to draw in 4th grade when I was a violent little mofo with a tendency to scribble dead stick-figures on the back of my homework while I was sitting in Ms. Oyster’s English class. It’s really, truly terrible. The only two things that I can appreciate are the pumpkin carving and the beef jerky pumpkin – those truly kick ass. The rest freaks me out.

I guess what I’m getting at is that if we ever hear in the news that Maddox was gangbanged by a bunch of antisocial young males who have the artistic ability of a 3-year-old, I won’t really be surprised.

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