On Egyptian Burial Practices

I was looking at the news online earlier and I ran across a story about 9 Egyptian mummies being discovered recently.

It seems pretty rude to dig up 2,500-year-old corpses, so I mentioned this to a buddy of mine. I mean, 2,500 years ago Egyptians wrapped up some bodies and threw them underground just so we can dig them up again?

No way. So, I told my friend that I’d rather be left alone once I was dead. But – he rightfully pointed out that sometimes archaeologists are looking for cultural relics, not really intending to disturb the rest of the dead.

Screw that! The rest of the conversation is as follows:

JFD: I want to be buried
JFD: with an anti-tank mine wired to my body
JFD: anybody digging up that shit
JFD: will be in for a big surprise.
Shawn: LOL
Shawn: aren’t those things fucking huge?
JFD: yes:-)
JFD: That’s the point.
Shawn: lol
Shawn: yeah but there is still a slim chance
Shawn: that you’d either just kill a random fuck
Shawn: digging for minerals or some shit
Shawn: OR
Shawn: they could defuse it 🙂
Shawn: and then anally probe your corpse
JFD: okay
JFD: then bury me
JFD: with a landmine in my anus
JFD: so when they probe that shit
JFD: hehehehehhe

2 thoughts on “On Egyptian Burial Practices”

  1. All right….an anti-tank mink eh? Well that means should the headstone, over time, be moved for whatever reason, and some vehicle weighing say…over a ton should drive over it you and your mine will blow farmer bill to bits. That and a person wouldn’t set off your anti-tank mine…that is unless you rigged with an anti-handling device : ) But I like it, I like it a LOT.

  2. i must agree, altho its funny seeing how i dont believe anything further then you live, you die then you rot away into the earth in which u were cast. But if some poor sap tried digging up my grave for any reason what-so-ever, be it for the good of man kind or some stupid gear box trying to rob my corpse in order to get that much needed fix of crack would be in for a surprise worthy of telling his great grandchildren…if he is lucky enough to survive getting his entire bottom half blown away. the only thing i don’t agree with is the whole anal prob thing, what are u guys thinkin? even in death i dont want my ass being blowin to shit…pardon the pun.

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